I'm sitting here enjoying a beer and looking upon my daily food intake and I'm feeling a bit sad, I seem to have gone right off track and I'm regularly eating more than double what I should be eating and its mainly snacks and chocolate to blame. I worked really hard to get to the size I currently am, slimming right down and starting to feel happy in my progress, I was also happy that I'd managed to consistently stick to my guns and eat properly but I now sit here starting to feel uncomfortable, my stomach has that bloated sensation and I'm sure a pair of tracksuit bottoms which were relatively loose a couple of months back felt a little tighter, when I had them on yesterday.
I know exactly where I'm going wrong, I'm eating too much in my afternoon break, I'm also having a false sense of how much I can eat with my bodybugg, stupidly I seem to be telling myself, it doesn't matter if I have four or more slices of toast with meat or some kind of topping, my bodybugg will show that it was ok and I shouldn't worry, the weird thing is, I'm handing out advice to other people, that I'm not following myself, I even have colleagues questioning my snack purchases at work, mentioning that they thought I was watching what I was eating.
I merely smile and laugh it off suggesting that it'll be alright, since I have tomorrow or my exercise classes to sort myself out, well based on the way I feel right now, I'm genuinely scared to step on a scale, I haven't weighed myself in over a month, so I'm not quite sure what I'll weigh when I do weigh myself again. I'm pretty sure that at some point in this post, I was likely to have put, well I'll be pulling my socks up and getting back to eating properly and also logging on my fitness pal but I've said that before, I've also mentioned that this is possibly a blip and I'll get back to eating properly and losing those last few tricky pounds.
The sad fact is, if I don't genuinely do something I will end up back at my starting weight, which annoys me, since I really hoped I had turned over a new leaf and was on the road to a fitter healthier me but alas, it seems my fucking impulse control issues have overtaken me yet again, I really need one of those angry personal trainers you see in films and comedy sketches shouting at me, whenever I go to have an extra slice of toast during my break, especially as I don't really need it, as I'll be getting my evening meal when I get home after work.
I think I'm in that post weight loss period where I seem to have lost a whole bunch of weight, so I should be alright eating a couple of extra treats, as I'll be able to handle it, when I should be limiting the treats that I have to being just that a treat, rather than a regular part of my diet, I also need to have smaller amounts of food during my longer breaks and telling myself no, you can't have that big bar of chocolate, or asking my colleague to snap me off a small piece and then hiding the rest from me, if that makes me a helpless child, then so be it, I suppose I should perhaps speak to someone about my food issues and see what I can do to stop myself from eating it all when I should be eating a portion.
I suppose I should sign off with my usual upbeat, life carries on and I'll bundle through but quick frankly I don't think I should be quite so laid back right now, in fact, I'm just going to see where the next week takes me and hopefully I'll be in a better frame of mind.
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