Put down the sandwich, you really don't need it.

I'm sitting here enjoying a beer and looking upon my daily food intake and I'm feeling a bit sad, I seem to have gone right off track and I'm regularly eating more than double what I should be eating and its mainly snacks and chocolate to blame. I worked really hard to get to the size I currently am, slimming right down and starting to feel happy in my progress, I was also happy that I'd managed to consistently stick to my guns and eat properly but I now sit here starting to feel uncomfortable, my stomach has that bloated sensation and I'm sure a pair of tracksuit bottoms which were relatively loose a couple of months back felt a little tighter, when I had them on yesterday.

I know exactly where I'm going wrong, I'm eating too much in my afternoon break, I'm also having a false sense of how much I can eat with my bodybugg, stupidly I seem to be telling myself, it doesn't matter if I have four or more slices of toast with meat or some kind of topping, my bodybugg will show that it was ok and I shouldn't worry, the weird thing is, I'm handing out advice to other people, that I'm not following myself, I even have colleagues questioning my snack purchases at work, mentioning that they thought I was watching what I was eating.

I merely smile and laugh it off suggesting that it'll be alright, since I have tomorrow or my exercise classes to sort myself out, well based on the way I feel right now, I'm genuinely scared to step on a scale, I haven't weighed myself in over a month, so I'm not quite sure what I'll weigh when I do weigh myself again. I'm pretty sure that at some point in this post, I was likely to have put, well I'll be pulling my socks up and getting back to eating properly and also logging on my fitness pal but I've said that before, I've also mentioned that this is possibly a blip and I'll get back to eating properly and losing those last few tricky pounds.

The sad fact is, if I don't genuinely do something I will end up back at my starting weight, which annoys me, since I really hoped I had turned over a new leaf and was on the road to a fitter healthier me but alas, it seems my fucking impulse control issues have overtaken me yet again, I really need one of those angry personal trainers you see in films and comedy sketches shouting at me, whenever I go to have an extra slice of toast during my break, especially as I don't really need it, as I'll be getting my evening meal when I get home after work.

I think I'm in that post weight loss period where I seem to have lost a whole bunch of weight, so I should be alright eating a couple of extra treats, as I'll be able to handle it, when I should be limiting the treats that I have to being just that a treat, rather than a regular part of my diet, I also need to have smaller amounts of food during my longer breaks and telling myself no, you can't have that big bar of chocolate, or asking my colleague to snap me off a small piece and then hiding the rest from me, if that makes me a helpless child, then so be it, I suppose I should perhaps speak to someone about my food issues and see what I can do to stop myself from eating it all when I should be eating a portion.

I suppose I should sign off with my usual upbeat, life carries on and I'll bundle through but quick frankly I don't think I should be quite so laid back right now, in fact, I'm just going to see where the next week takes me and hopefully I'll be in a better frame of mind.

Sometimes, you just need a little more.

I've had a few ups and downs in my journey towards a fitter healthier me, the weeks when no weight seemed to come off, the weeks when half a stone fell off, I can now get through a fitness class, without almost dying, boxercise and kettlebell are still hard but I'm recovering a lot quicker than I did four months ago. 

I helped with a beach survey for the Marine Conservation Society last Friday, spending an hour picking up and noting down the types of litter that was on a 100 metre patch of Marsden beach, a lovely little place I've not been to in a few years. They asked us to trawl the beach for an hour and afterwards we were provided with some snacks, drinks and a money off voucher from Marks & Spencer as a little thank you, for our hard work. I helped myself to a few extra snacks when everyone had helped themselves as they would only go to waste if they weren't eaten.

As I had some time before I was expected home, I decided to go for a bit of a longer ride than usual, heading through the Tyne tunnel and then along towards Newcastle before heading up to and across Scotswood bridge and back down past the Metrocentre before riding alongside the Tyne and up to home. After I plotted my route, it seems I'd done 34.68 miles, which I was quite surprised at and because I was in a restless mood, I thought, I think I'll go for a swim, so I did, managing a mile in the time that was left before the pool closed. Though it seems that I hurt my shoulder a little, as I'd had an accident and came off my bike on a small wooden stathes beside the Metrocentre, as it was soaking wet and very slick.

I managed to get through 6 packets of Chocolate, Pecan  Popcorn and a few other things, clocking up 950 calories in snacks, which was a bit annoying, since these were 'healthier snacks' but since my exercise weighed in at 2672 calories I think it'll be alright.

On Saturday I did my usual boxercise class then straight afterwards I did a spinning class, which was unbelievably hard, mainly I think because I'd done all the cycling on Friday but also because its so hard, especially where you float just over the seat and your quads start to scream at you, I wanted to go swimming but it seems I'd forgotten my trucks, oh well.

I had hoped to to some exercise on the Sunday but after downloading Trials Evolution, Lee and I just spent the day playing on that and creating a new track. I managed to eat a lot of food though, for some reason I was not that hungry but felt like I needed it, so my calorie intake was 1,500 calories over my daily allowance, which I was a little sad about but I guess my body was in need of the energy, with all the exercise I'd been doing.

Still I weighed in at 14st 0lbs (196lbs) on Monday so it seems I'm still managing to lose the weight. and I shouldn't worry, since my body obviously knows what it needs, although not so many packets of chocolate popcorn next time.